Which comes first?

After living in Cambodia for more than five years, I have come to see a progression repeated again and again…I don’t know really if it can be called a “natural” progression…but nevertheless, it is a pattern I am starting to see occur even in our own Bykota House.  I thought that I might share it with you.  I am not sure if it is of interest or not…but that is the purpose of this blog..sharing about Cambodia and our lives here.

A young adult or student, whether a Phnom Penh native or fresh in from province, will soon find that even though transportation on moto dops is inexpensive, it is still a fast drain on the wallet (or purse).  To find a job or to enroll in classes, you have to start with figuring out how they will get there on a daily basis.  So the first thing that happens is that the young adult will buy a bicycle, usually a second-hand one.  One thing that you see alot here is that the young Christians will sell to newcomers, their old bikes at a discount or on payments or sometimes just loan them out for the duration of this phase.  So first thing on any checklist will be a bicycle.

Then the next purchase that will be made is a phone.  This becomes a necessity very quickly for jobs, it is pretty important with schooling, and it is almost irreplaceable socially.  Text messaging to individuals or enmasse to our contact lists is even how we, as foreigners, contact one another, notify others of emergencies, urgent prayer needs, party invitations, or inquiries.  So for the young Cambodian adult…it becomes imperative to buy a phone with that first or second paycheck.  These are also available second-hand.  However, a phone purchase necessitates the purchase of a SIM card that will include your phone number, and then you must buy time for your phone.

This stage tends to be a little tricky because if you try to be frugal and use your minutes sparingly, you will lose them because they have an expiration date.  Yep!  Use them or lose them!  I have even lost phone money myself this way.  So the young Cambodian will find themselves saving money by wheeling themselves all around town with “pedal power”, but you have to keep feeding that phone because not only can you lose phone minutes…if you don’t replenish quickly, you will lose your actual phone number!  Geez!!!

This stage is one in which you will find many Cambodians choosing between food and phone $.  Or if their financial situation is not as dire, it will only affect what kind of food they are eating and are buying less expensive (because it is less in quality/quantity) food and making their money cover both items.  Again, I understand this because I have sat with my phone out of money while I have waited for the Lord to bring in more funds before I could replenish my account.  However, my situation has not been nearly as dire because I have a husband to borrow a phone from.  Shhhh…Mark is always griping about how Danielle and I use up all his phone $!!

Then the day will come…either through hard work and saving or a financial gift from a sponsor…the young person will be able to buy their first moto.  It will be second-hand, of course.  The bicycle may be sold to take care of licensing and tagging.  Then the need to keep a job becomes imperative!  Now the young person has a phone AND a moto to keep “fed and clothed” figuratively speaking.

This also sadly becomes like a savings account for the young person because since there are no safety nets or insurance and very little help available, should the young person have some sort of an urgent need…or if their parent or family member becomes ill, the first thing that happens is that moto gets sold.  That may be enough to take care of the need.  But if not, before long, that phone gets sold.  Sometimes this “cycle” will be repeated many, many times.

But should the moto and/or phone not ever need to be “cashed in”, the goal for the next several years of this person’s life…yes, maybe the next couple of decades…seems to be always upgrading and improving the phone and the moto.

The thing that I find the most interesting about this cycle is not that it occurs again and again.  But rather how so many young people get hung up on the upgrading and improving phase of the cycle and never get out of it.  They sacrifice so many other things and financial savings and improving their lives all for the sake of constantly repeating the progression.  That is when it gets really sad.

I have been here in Cambodia for five and a half years…I have a very basic no bells or whistles type of phone.  It is only my second phone that I have ever had.  The first one just completely wore out and the buttons wouldn’t work any longer.  My current phone has a problem in that the back-lighting part of it doesn’t work any longer.  So in dim light or darkness, I can’t use it at all.  But I have no plans to do anything about it at this moment.  So many other financial things to think about and responsibilities abound.

We are starting to see this cycle in Bykota House as well.  Mekera has joined a children’s ministry team at her church.  She is GREAT at it!  But it requires her to get back and forth from the church.  We were providing money for her motos but then when she earned some money of her own, the first thing she did was buy a bicycle of her own.  Mark begged her to please let him buy her bike.  But she said no…it wouldn’t be the same.  She wanted to buy it herself.  So we relented.

But several months later, I saw her in the  kitchen with a phone.  I asked her whose it was.  She said it was an old phone of a staff member and she was thinking of buying it.  She earns a bit of money doing odd things and so has the ability to save funds.  I said, “That is a good idea!  You are going on the road so much that I would really feel better if my daughter had a phone.”  I then took $20 out of my pocket and offered to buy it right then and there.  She was so excited.  But now…Mekera has her own hungry little phone to feed and to keep minutes on.  So those odd jobs have become more and more important.

 Chatreah, through gifts from her sponsor, has her own bicycle and a phone.  Unfortunately, she isn’t so eager to do odd jobs and so often has no money on it.

Volet, Peroom, and Rattana all received personal bicycles for Christmas.  (That was so much fun!)  It won’t be long until the boys start to be in the phone stage also…

and one day it will be “but Mom/Dad, I need a moto…”

Breathing in, breathing out,

Rhonda

 

Meet Hannah…intern from Great Britain!

Hi, my name is Hannah Gibson and I currently have the privilege of living with the Benz family and aiding their ministry in any way I can and I am loving it! I have been here just over 3 weeks and am staying until the middle of June this year. It was at school in 2003 that God first put Cambodia on my heart when an older girl told me of her plans to visit and ever since I have felt that it is somewhere God wants me to be.

 Since making the decision to come I have had many times of doubts (decision making has never been my strong point!) but now I am here I can see so clearly how God has been preparing me for this visit before I knew Cambodia existed. It is so exciting to see so clearly how he has been guiding me even when I did not know it and to see how well he provides for his children here in Cambodia.

 Every day I see the joy and love of God around me in the smile of the beautiful children and the hearts of the Benz family and I can’t think of anywhere on earth I would rather be. I have already done things that I never imagined I could like teaching and making tortillas, I have learned so much about myself and my God, made so many friends and memories that I hope to keep forever and I have only been here 3 weeks, I can’t wait to see what God has planned for my next 5 months!

 

Princess Sarah Rose

Well, what a difference a week can make! In one week’s time, Bykota House went from 18 children to 20 with the addition of two new blessings. We have shared the story of Stephan’s arrival to Bykota House (see my previous post, Heart Ponderings and I hope to shortly post an update that will include some pictures as well.) However, like any proud parents we are pleased to announce the addition of Sarah Rose and share about her arrival.

 In understanding the shadows hovering over Sarah’s conception and birth, one must first come to understand something about present-day reality in Cambodia. Women here in this society carry very little value. In fact, there is a Cambodian saying that says “having a daughter is like building your bathroom on your front porch.” In other words, if you have a daughter, you better hide her at the back of your property or she will bring you shame. To hear such things grieves our heart because presently Mark and I are blessed with three beautiful Khmer daughters, one lovely Khmer daughter-in-law, and six Bykota daughters in addition to our three biological daughters.

One must also understand something that it is almost impossible for our Western minds to get around…extreme poverty leads people to extreme behaviors. Many of us will never experience or even observe with our eyes the level of poverty that haunts a family in Cambodia. So it is highly unlikely that we will ever understand some of their behaviors. With that in mind, I will venture into a brief discussion of some things that occur on a daily basis here in SE Asia.

 It is a highly documented fact that Cambodia is one of the sex tourism capitals of the world. For some readers that phrase “sex tourism” may be one that is very unfamiliar to you. Sadly though, there are such evils as sex tourists who hold the opinion that their vacations are best spent brutalizing and abusing women…many who are barely the age to even be considered “women” in any sense of the word. One fact that maybe isn’t as highly documented is that a great majority of these women/girls have come to be in the hands of the brothels through their own families. A daughter as young as 4 or 5 years of age can be sold to the brothels for varying sums of money. This money can be used to obtain medical care, pay debts, or to just live another few months. There aren’t families that are getting rich off this exchange…they are just desperate. Sadly, the brothels do make money as the innocence and hope is sucked away from these young women/girls one night at a time. It is sad…but it is reality here.

There are many wonderful organizations who literally take their lives in their own hands as they step into the fray to rescue these young girls. The powers of evil and those who live in their shadows aren’t playing games…it is very dangerous and risky business. After the rescue however, the work has just begun. The rescued victims then begin the long journey back to wholeness which can take a long time and requires much support. Intensive therapy, medical care, educational assistance, vocational training are all pieces of the broken lives being put back together. However, there are sometimes “unexpected surprises”.

 Thus enters our little princess…this wee one came into this world as one of those unexpected surprises. She was a surprise for all those who protected and provided for her mother. She was a surprise to her mother as well who was still a child herself. She was certainly a surprise to us when the phone rang. But without a doubt, she wasn’t a surprise to Father God who has a great hope and future planned for this little one. She was named Princess Rosebud by those who attended to her birth because her tiny perfect little mouth was shaped as a rosebud. So before she even arrived at our gate she was named Sarah Rose…Sarah means “princess.” Yesterday was her 3 week birthday and she has yet to gain to 6 lbs. She is so small that she can easily fit into one of her new daddy’s hands easily.

 A child this small is not going to be assimilated easily into the sleeping quarters of Bykota House. We are quite full for the facility that we are in and a little one this size has some very specific needs that the caregivers there are not able to provide. While I am personally a mother of 10 myself, my life is very demanding and the thought of adding a newborn was one that set my mind to reeling. (I literally had to go sit down after that phone call and just breath in, breath out…breath in, breath out…)

 Here begins the evidence of the Father’s provision. January fifth, High Tower Ministries/Bykota House was blessed with the arrival of an intern from Great Britain…Hannah Gibson. She has a real heart for God and comes with great experience with little ones. Our plans were to use her for some preschool activities with the Bykota Littles and some phonics tutoring with Timothy and Gene. As we came to know her, we were really blessed to hear of her family’s ministry in England. Her family fosters little ones in Great Britain who often come straight from the hospital and some are even suffering with drug withdrawal symptoms. That can be a very tough journey with a baby. One way in which she helped her mother is that she was able to give her mum two /three nights a week of solid sleep while Hannah handled the middle of the night routine. YEA GOD!

 This entire story is a testimony of how great our God is:

 He put into place a rescue organization to be there when a young helpless girl so desperately needed assistance in one of the darkest places on the face of the earth.

He surrounded her with those who protected and cared for her fragile state of mind and body.

 He established Bykota House here to be ready, willing, and able to care for the little one as the rescue organization continued to focus on healing for the young mother.

 On the day of Sarah Rose’s birth, He added to our team with another set of hands and arms to join in the task of caring for the babe.

 As we did with Stephan, we set about preparing supplies after we received news of the impending arrival. Our small infant clothing inventory was sent overseas by Grandma Marthalee. Marthalee had sent these clothes over the span of the last 3 or 4 years and we had never had one small enough to need them. It wasn’t a coincidence that half of the clothes were for an 18 month old boy, Stephan, and the other half was for a newborn baby girl, Sarah. God knew that they were coming and so He lay in the supplies that we would need. It kinda knocks my socks off to think about Grandma Marthalee picking up these clothes off an end-of–season clearance rack THREE YEARS AGO for children that only arrived this week! Kinda cool isn’t it?

 “For I know the thoughts that I think towards you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil.” Jeremiah 29:11

Breathing in, breathing out,

Rhonda

 

Heart Ponderings

In the past five years, I have come to understand more and more about what the writers of the Gospels meant when they said that Mary pondered these things in her heart.  Our life has taken us on a journey to so many places and through so many “happenings” that are so completely out of the ordinary that to even try to talk them through leaves me always thinking “where do I begin?”  Our journey is one that is much better processed through “heart ponderings” than in any other way.
     Last week was a typical week for us…full of life and activity.  Life is never dull in our household since we have a large family anyway.  However, caring for the children of Bykota House certainly keeps us hopping at a different energy level altogether.  I was downstairs in the kitchen trying to work on our family’s evening meal when the phone rang.  On the other end was a friend from the States. Stephanie is the director of a fine ministry here in Cambodia* that rescues girls from the sex trade but that night’s call wasn’t about her work or a friendly chat to get together for a visit.  Stephanie had been with a film crew on a local island when she came across a little baby boy that…well, let me tell you in her own words from an email she later wrote home that evening:    

“As I approached him, he turned his head, and to my horror, I saw a huge protrusion from the side of his little baby head. I thought he had a horrible birth defect—it honestly looks like another small head… Then I realized it was oozing and there were flies in it.… His father abandoned his mother. His mother is prostituting in Phnom Penh, and nobody knows if she will ever come back. His grandmother is a drunk and supposedly beat his head…So he survives by crawling around from shack to shack looking for food. He looks to be about one and cannot walk, but the neighbors who began to gather said he was probably closer to two years old. I asked his name. Everyone agreed that he had NO NAME! So here is a baby who is malnourished and pulling himself naked through the dirt with an open fly infested wound with no caregiver in the world and NO NAME!”

It was a little hard to figure out the entire story because quite frankly Steph  was very emotional.  At first I even thought that she was describing that upon seeing the child, she had just scooped him up and ran for medical help.  I started having visions of kidnapping being cried out against her.  But then gradually the story emerged that Stephanie had followed protocol and her staff had done all that was necessary.  The bottom line to the call was that she couldn’t possibly return the child to that kind of life…was there a home for the baby at Bykota House?

     One of those ponderings that I have is one of just how would a person ever answer no to providing a safe home for a child?  We often feel like Bykota House is full…we have 19 children now…that is a lot for us to carry and still maintain our vision of a family for the children’s home rather than that of an orphanage.  I know that other ministries say no.  We have several times gotten calls about children that everyone else has said no to.    But Mark and I just can’t get away from the example of Jesus when he said “Let the little children come to me.”

      Later the aunt of the child was found and at the request of the village chief, the aunt went into Phnom Penh in search of her sister, the mother of the child.  My heart contracted at the thought.  In my mind’s eye, I can’t help but imagine our two youngest biological daughters.  The thought of one of them going into the dark underbelly of life in Phnom Penh to seek out her sister with news that her child is near death brings me physical pain.  Heart ponderings…

      The mother was found and I have seen the video of her getting the news of how the drunken grandmother had constantly beat the child until this latest injury when the child “fell” off the roof of the house.  Betrayal, despair, pain, guilt…I am sure the tears she shed were not only for the child but for herself because she was a poor woman in a country that gives women no value, no protection, no choices…painful ponderings.

      The child arrived at our home the day he was dismissed from the hospital with nothing but his hospital medications and was only wrapped in a t-shirt of the hired caregiver.  A t-shirt, incidentally, the woman wanted back!  That’s okay, we laughingly assure her, “We’ll take him naked.”  During our meeting to go over the custody papers, the baby got fussy.  The caregiver tells me in Khmer that he is hungry. “He wants rice,” she says.  I go into the kitchen and was able to immediately scoop out fluffy white rice for the baby and grab up a banana.  I am smiling (and again, pondering) as I step out of the kitchen because we haven’t eaten rice for weeks (after 5 years of rice based diet we can hardly stand it) but for some reason that morning, I had the urge to make rice for breakfast.

I fed the child and saw that no matter where I moved, his eyes followed the bowl of food.  He knew every instant where the food was.  Again my heart contracted as I remembered another baby, Vicheka, who was so near starvation when we found her, that once she emptied a baby bottle, she would clutch it tightly under her arm.  The little nine month old wouldn’t turn the empty bottle over for anyone no matter how stinky it became in this Cambodian heat until we had a new one to replace it. The bottle represented food to her and she was so frightened to let it go.  And so I pondered…how the look of starvation and lack looks so similar in all babies’ faces. At times, the memory of things we have seen here is so painful that I can hardly bear it.

      When we had the call that the baby was on the way to the house, my daughter had gone into our little inventory area to a little tub of clothes that had been sent over to Bykota House by a grandmother in SW Missouri.  We had kept these baby clothes stored for almost 3 years now and had never had a need for them.  When the baby arrived, my daughter and I look at each other and smile.  We could see by his size that almost all the little rompers were going to fit him perfectly.  We slid one over his still swollen little head and yes, perfect fit!  Maybe we hadn’t known that the babe was coming, but God had provided his clothing before he had even been born! This is a pondering that brings peace even when we wonder how we can handle another little one.  We may not be able to handle it…but our God is able and He will make a way.

     This little guy is probably about 18 months old.  We all laughed at his attempts when at his second meal he had a little toddler fork and was chasing food around his plate.  He chased it all down until it was GONE!  No food will be going to waste with this little guy!  He also has already turned to recognize his name…Stephan.  Yes, we named him after Stephanie who rescued him from certain death.  The name means crown…or “beautiful garland.”  My heart swells with more pleasant things to ponder when I think of what great and wonderful things God must have planned for Stephan.  What an awesome destiny he must have.  God orchestrated Stephan’s rescue down to the tiniest detail!  He has gone from crawling in the dirt and filth to a safe home with a mom, a dad, and a family. Our home, Bykota House, is blessed and honored that God has chosen to adorn us with this beautiful “garland.”  And about that…there is nothing to question or ponder at all!

To read more about Stephanie’s work in Cambodia, and her first encounter with little Stephan, see this blog post at the Rapha House blog.

 

The BYKOTA Store on Zazzle is Now Open!

This weekend we officially launched the BYKOTA House store on Zazzle.  We have a little of everything at our store…

Bethlehem Angel by Bykota

Christmas cards (featuring art by BYKOTA kids!) … and stamps too!

Christmas Tree Stamps by Bykota

 

Also posters and notecards featuring original photographs, such as this fall-themed one:

He Restores My Soul Notecard by Bykota

And fun items with a Cambodian flair, like the “Sues’day” Series:

Sues’day! by Bykota

Sues-day! Dark Hoodie by Bykota

 

This is just a small sampling of what’s available at the BYKOTA store - and we’re adding more all the time. All proceeds from the sales at the BYKOTA store will go to help support BYKOTA house.  It’s shopping with a purpose!    It’s never too soon to start Christmas shopping, and this weekend Zazzle is having a Columbus Day sale – 14.92% off everything through Monday night!! Click on over and check it out… and share our link with your friends and family!

http://www.zazzle.com/bykota*

 

Update

For those of you who are wondering …

Mark is off to Germany to visit our DIL, Dany, and our son, Steven, with of course, Grandson Kevin thrown in as a bonus.

Mark has had some pretty intense health struggles recently and was in need of some R and R.  Going back to the States is a pretty expensive plane ticket and the pull of ministry continues there when we meet with friends and family who are part of our home team.  But in Germany, he can just be Grandpa…and tourist.  We are blessed that he can stay with Dany and Steven in their home off base and so that keeps the expense down as well.

He is going to be there until about mid October and we hope in that month, he is able to rest and rejuvenate and allow his new meds to try to get his blood pressure under control.

Things are fine here “back at the ranch” so far.  It is Pchum Ben holiday so School of the Nations is not in session and the city is quiet except for near the Wats where all the chanting is going on.  We know that many prayers are going up for our protection and safety and we are very thankful.

Miss Heather has arrived in Cambodia to take on the position of school administrator with SOTNs.  That will be another burden lifted from Mark’s shoulders.  We have been in desperate situation for the last year as we have been so busy working IN the ministry that we haven’t been able to work ON the ministry…quarterly reports await and financial date entry…many such things have fallen by the wayside as we have been short handed.  But the arrival of Miss Heather to work in the school and in a couple of weeks another arrival of help from the States for one month will help us too.

At present everyone is doing okay but we have had a rash of illnesses and doctor’s visits that have left our heads spinning this last quarter.  Medical expenses are always an issue with us because 35% of the BH children are medical special needs…but we have had additional issues as well as Seth’s broken arm and Mark’s health concerns.  On top of it all, Mark broke a tooth that had to be extracted!!!  Golly!

Prayer points:

We ask for prayer over Mark’s trip that he will find rest in body and soul and for us back at home as well.

Also we ask for agreement for provision to be made in light of all the health concerns and also a $500 plumbing repair bill that sideswiped us!

But to end this update on a good note…during last evening, the Lord blessed us in a small way that ministered to us greatly.  It was our monthly pizza night and finances being what they are…I couldn’t order out for pizza.  So instead we tackled it in the kitchen with the supplies we had.

Danielle and I stirred up some homemade pizza sauce from a recipe that I have found on a website called Hillbilly Housewife!  (check it out!!!) and then we stirred up the pizza crust with whole wheat flour that I was blessed to find at a local mill.  Sifting the bugs out of the flour took some time…but that is life in Cambodia and life without room for the flour to be kept in the freezer!

We grated up some of the very precious and expensive cheese and then topped it with Peppered Ham (product) bought at Lucky supermarket and diced half of a  perfectly ripe pineapple!  As a finally touch we sprinkled a tiny bit of cane sugar, our substitute for brown sugar, and then Danielle began the process of rotation in our little propane stove while I tackled the dishes.  Rotate this one up…this one down…a continual process while we try to not burn anything.

The Lord blessed us with yummy, yummy pizza that was the best that we have had in a couple of years!!!  The children celebrated Danielle and I as miracle workers…and we were also blessed to be joined by Miss Heather and another young missionary who is living here alone in Phnom Penh, Katherine.  She has been desperately lonely and we are blessed to add her to our life here in Cambodia to help her feel more connected.

Breathing in, Breathing out,

Rhonda

 

Pchum Ben, A Cambodian Holiday

just a little look into what we are living with here in Cambodia….

 

Cambodian Buddhists believe that although most living creatures are reincarnated at death, due to bad karma, some souls are not reincarnated but rather remain trapped in the spirit world. Each year, for fifteen days, these souls are released from the spirit world to search for their living relatives, meditate and repent. The fifteen-day observance of Prachum Benda, or Ancestors’ Day, is a time for living relatives to remember their ancestors and offer food to those unfortunate enough to have become trapped in the spirit world. Furthermore, it is an important opportunity for living relatives to meditate and pray to help reduce the bad karma of their ancestors, thus enabling the ancestors to become reincarnated and leave the torment and misery of the spirit world. Prachum Benda, better known colloquially as Pchum Ben, may be translated as “gathering together to make offerings” (prachum meaning “gathering together” and benda meaning “offering”). The observance usually begins in mid-September and lasts an entire lunar cycle, constituting the fifteen days that ancestral spirits are given to visit their living relatives. In the year 2003, the specific dates for its commencement and conclusion are September 11th and September 25th, respectively. Pchum Ben is the fifteenth and final day of the observance and consists of a large gathering of laity for festivities at the local Buddhist temple. Each day leading up to the fifteenth, however, is also important and special. Different families host services at the temple on each of the fourteen days prior to the final celebration. The days leading up to Pchum Ben are known as Kann Ben (kann meaning “hosting or holding”) and are numbered one through fourteen accordingly. Prior to the day a family or families are scheduled to host a Kann Ben, relatives and close family friends will go to the temple to make preparations. During the preparations, urns of ancestors, traditionally kept on temple grounds, are polished and brought to the viheara (the main chanting room). Also, the names of ancestors are recorded onto an invitation list. This is important because spirits cannot receive offerings unless they are first invited to do so by living relatives. In the evening, the host family and other participants will join the monks in the viheara for meditation and chanting. The monks will then pass on the Buddha’s teachings, as well as offer blessings and guidance to those present. Before sunrise on the morning of the Kann Ben, special food is prepared for the ancestral spirits to enjoy. Favorite dishes of various flavors and colors are offered. They range from the simple and traditional nom ansom (sticky rice wrapped in banana leaves with assorted fillings) to the more elaborate and rich amok (steamed fish fillet marinated in a complex mix of spices and herbs). As a gesture of kindness, the hosts also prepare bai ben (steamed sticky rice mixed with sesame seeds and then formed into balls) to be thrown into shaded areas about the temple grounds. This mixture is an offering to the hungry souls who have been forgotten or no longer have living relatives to make them offerings. Before noon on Kann Ben, candles and incense are lit and the various dishes are offered to the monks. The prepared list of names is then recited and burned. The reading and burning of the list is a ritual performed to alert and direct the wandering souls to the location of their families. It is an invitation for the ancestral spirits to join their living relatives as they commemorate life. After consuming the proffered meal, the monks continue to chant blessings, sprinkling (or showering) holy water onto the families and their visiting ancestral spirits. The Kann Ben is a time of remembrance and an opportunity to accumulate good karma on behalf of one’s ancestors. The rituals of Kann Ben continue for fourteen days. On the fifteenth day, the traditionally observed Pchum Ben, families in the local area gather to perform the same ritual of ancestral remembrance and offer an immense communal feast. This day is especially important because if any ancestors are unfortunate enough to have become Priad spirits, it is the only day that they may receive offerings of food and benefit from the good karma earned by their relatives. Priads are the most miserable of all souls due to their exceptional bad karma. Unlike other spirits, Priads fear light and can only receive prayers, food and be reunited with their living relatives during the darkest day of this lunar cycle, the day of Pchum Ben. Participating in the Pchum Ben, whether as a host or participant, is a very important aspect of Cambodian Buddhistic culture. It is a time of reunion and commemoration. It is a time to express love and appreciation for one’s ancestors. By offering food and good karma to those possibly trapped in the spirit world, living relatives help assuage their misery and guide them back into the cycle of reincarnation. After the ancestors are reincarnated, they have the opportunity to accumulate good karma on their own and look forward to attaining a peaceful inner spirit, which is the best blessing a living relative can wish for their ancestors.

 

Middle of the night screams…

Okay, while this is fresh in my mind I am going to write it down…and then maybe my heart will slow down.

 Last night (Saturday here) we were all slumbering peacefully in our beds when we were awoke by the most blood curdling screams. I had not understood the true meaning of “curdling” until last night…but when my blood was freezing in my veins, I had a revelation moment. Dad and I both jump out of bed and head to the living room where we find Danielle on the floor in the living room kinda near the base of the stairs but not quite in the middle of the room. A basket of laundry that wasn’t carried up last night laid strewn around the base of the stairs and the plastic basket was shattered. Lexi, the doberman, is dancing around Danielle and at that moment it was hard to tell if Lexi was attacking her, trying to console her, or defending her against something. At the moment we walked up though, Lexi was agitated enough to bark AT us!! (in hindsight I think we are blessed that we didn’t get bit!)

 Danielle is in complete hysterics. From the floor where she has fallen, she manages to tell us that she woke up and saw someone’s lower legs and shoes preparing to lower themselves into her bedroom from her attic. This doesn’t sound crazy to us because we have heard of many times of robberies where the thieves have broken through the roof or through an empty dwelling next door to gain access to a home. So we tell Danielle to get the Little Girls, Mary and Chantal from their beds and gather them in one room with Madeline. Up the stairs both Mark and I go with Lexi, the doberman, in tow. I can’t remember what Mark had in his hand…but at the top of the stairs, I grabbed a hat rack and was holding it like a spear. In retrospect, I can’t stop laughing because Mark had a crazed redhead holding a hat rack “backing him up” and a doberman that was so scared she didn’t want to go into the bedroom again.

Mark thrust Lexi through the doorway and put his hand around the doorframe to hit the light switch… no one in the room. The attic door doesn’t appear to have been dislodged a bit. It is a small room so there isn’t any room for someone to hide. No one in the bathroom in the hall. The attic access door is padlocked from the outside….the boy’s room!!! Mark and I leap over to the boy’s room and find the door locked from the inside! So we begin pounding on the door and calling for Seth. Both boys sleep like the dead so it was probably a full 60 seconds of pounding before skinny Seth in his pjs and now utterly terrified, comes to the door and dares to open it. No one in their room. So Mark thrusts both boys at me and tells me to go downstairs with the girls. So we go downstairs and go into my bedroom with everyone and we lock the door.

The baby is sitting big eyed on the bed…”Where my daddy eeees?”

“Daddy is upstairs, babe,” I tell her. I sit down on the bed and little Chantal attacks me. She propels her body onto mine with such force that I almost go off the bed. She is shaking from one end of her body to another! Rat ta tat tat…vibrating so hard that it is like she is being electrocuted. She says, “I don’t feel cold on the inside…but I can’t stop shaking,” she says through gritted teeth. I remained silent but could only think “Join the club, honey!”

 Now the fear is worse in the bedroom than it was going up the stairs and rounding the corner with a hat rack in my hands. We can hear nothing…obviously, we can’t see anything. Danielle, who hasn’t told the children anything yet, then tells the children why they are all in there. This tale brings Mary to tears…she says that she heard someone walking around her bed before and it was scary. (This mysterious walker has been visiting ever since we moved bedrooms around. In the girl’s room, you can hear Danielle as she brushes her teeth and such because her room is right overhead. Thus…”walking sounds.”)

 So on the bed, we have a baby sucking her thumb in a very violent fashion and watching the door for her daddy like a hawk, one girl crying, one girl trembling like a leaf, two boys who are just in a sleepy daze, Danielle who is starting to breathe normally and myself. We hear Dad talking to the guards in the courtyard. That must mean he is going after the ladder and hasn’t found anything on the third floor or we would have least heard Lexi barking. Then we hear the ladder coming upstairs and it gets very, very quiet again.

It seemed like a long, long time passed…but it was probably just 10 minutes. Dad comes back into the room and tells us that he has gone up in the attic and looked to all the far corners of the attic. No one is there and no evidence of anyone EVER being there. The roof is intact and it is all secured. So now it is apparent that no one was EVER there. But the children are all too scared to return to their rooms…including Danielle who now knows that no one was ever there. We may have a big bed, but there isn’t room for the two of us, five littles, one teenager, and a doberman. So Madi isn’t going to leave her daddy now that he has returned. She did however let him take a shower since he had been in the attic.

 So Chantal and Seth are to go to bed down on her bed, Danielle and Christopher with Mary go to sleep into the girl’s room with the doberman. At least that is the plan. So I send Danielle and the boys up to get their pillows and Lexi’s doggie bed. They come racing back down the stairs with NOTHING in the hands. “There is a hole in the ceiling now!” Danielle yelps.

 I ask, “What do you mean a hole in the ceiling? Dad has checked it all out.”

Mark steps out of the bathroom, dressed in clean sleeping clothes. He says “the hole where I put my foot through the ceiling while I was walking around up there.” ARGH! Now we have a broken ceiling!! So they go back up and get those things and everyone goes to their assigned sleeping spaces. It is hours before Mark and I can sleep again but the children in our room go to sleep rather quickly.

This morning I am stiffly walking outside with the dogs to feed them. The guards are not normally there when I come down on Sunday mornings because their church service is at the crack of dawn. But they have stayed in order to speak to me. Dtha, which is the Cambodian word for grandfather, is kinda hard of hearing. But he makes it a point to tell me that EVEN HE was woke from a sound slumber with Danielle’s screams. They wanted to hear the whole story. So I try WITHOUT COFFEE YET to explain in a different language what had occured. From the look on their faces, I don’t think I helped. But they also went on to tell me how the ENTIRE neighborhood was disturbed by the screaming! Danielle woke the whole village!

 So that is how our Sabbath Day started over here in Cambodia. It began at 1 15 AM with terrified screams bouncing from the concrete walls and reverberating through the entire neighborhood. But with a start like this…it can only get better!

Breathing in, Breathing out,

Rhonda

The hole in the ceiling made by Mark’s foot.

 

 

 

 

 

Hat rack that the red headed mother used to defend her children…

 

Miss Heather

Hi, I am Heather Abernathy and Rhonda has asked me to write up a little something about myself   I am so excited to begin working with Mark and Rhonda in September.  I have been a Christian since I was 4 1/2 and knew at a young age I wanted to be a missionary.  I loved babysitting and working with the younger kids in my school and eventually went to school to be a teacher.  Upon graduating from Asbury College, I got a job in inner city Akron, Ohio and knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that that was my mission field.  I loved my job and the kids I worked with, but after 9 years, God reminded me of the dream to teach overseas.  I began pursuing that and ended up teaching at Dalat International School in Penang, Malaysia.  I enjoyed my time there, but know God is moving me from there to Cambodia!

I guess I should back up a bit and let you know how I got to Cambodia from Malaysia   After my first year at Dalat, one of the parents called and asked if I would be interested in going to Cambodia with her.  She wanted to do some kid ministry and had heard of this family that had a group of orphans that they were caring for and loving as their own; they were living as a family.  She contacted them and found out that they were just getting ready to open a school and could use the extra help.  I agreed to join her for the main reasons that, not only would it give me something to do, but it would also give me another stamp in my passport (yes, I know, not very good reasons to go, but hey, God used them in a great way!).

We arrived the first day of school for the Bykota kids.  As we sat down to lunch and I looked around I was thinking something was looking VERY familiar; I just couldn’t place it.  I finally asked what curriculum they were using and about fell out of the chair when they told me ACE.  You see, I graduated from an ACE school!!  I went to an ACE school from 6^th-12^th grade, so I know the system quite well!!  I was able to give Marks lots of pointers and had an incredible week with them.  When I left, I planned to go back on spring break.  At one point before that, Rhonda asked if I might consider spending my summer in Cambodia while they were on a much-needed furlough with the family.  She knew I would be spending a surprise visit home with my family at Christmas, so thought I might consider the summer in Cambodia.  After praying about it, I knew that’s what I was going to do, so my second summer away from home was spent in Cambodia with the Bykota kids.  It was weird being there without Mark and Rhonda, but the kids and I had lots of fun and I fell deeper in love with them.  I had always assumed I would leave Malaysia and head back to America, but by the end of the summer was not so convinced.  I spent a pretty intensive month and a half in prayer about the decision to stay put or move.  During that time, God made His plans very clear and in mid October, I told my director that I would not be at Dalat the following year.  He actually was not surprised and knew it was coming, which just affirmed the decision.  Since then, God has continued to affirm and confirm this move!  I am so excited and am looking forward to being able to work with and love on the Bykota kids and watch them grow in their knowledge.  I am amazed and in awe of the great God I serve!  He began preparing me for this way back when I entered 6^th grade.  Only He knew some 22 years ago that I would need the knowledge of ACE to teach in a school in Cambodia; Dad and Mom just thought they were enrolling me in a good Christian school. God has used Malaysia as a stepping-stone to get me used to living in a foreign land and He used a South African to get me to Cambodia for the first time.  He works in strange and mysterious ways that are always perfect and always in His time frame!!

I am currently living with my sister as I am home for the first time in three summers.  I am here raising support for my ministry in Cambodia and will be here until September 8^th.  I will then fly back to Malaysia and pick up the rest of my things there, then fly to Cambodia on September 13^th.  I am very excited and am walking in faith knowing that this is what God has called me to and HE will provide all that is needed in His exact time and way.

 

The battle over children…

Last night I went to bed thinking about the struggle/fight/battle for the hearts and minds of children.  I haven’t been able to shake it all day long…I hope to find release with some of my thoughts with this posting.

This battle over children is not specific to where you live, who you are, your race, your gender, your income level…it isn’t even specific to our time and place in history.

The battle began as our recorded history began…in the beginning.  The fall of man in the Garden can even be seen as a war that was waged by the enemy against the first children of God.  A battle that was seemingly won but for those who have read the last page of the book, we know that the WAR will be won by the Father.

The battle came against male and female both.  How did the enemy inflitrate in the garden?  He began by saying in today’s vernacular “Did your Dad really say?”  He called into question the values and teachings of a father to his children.  Doesn’t really matter (for this blog posting) that it was the Heavenly Father and the first children, Adam and Eve.  In a nutshell,  it was just a voice speaking against and calling into question the teachings and instructions of a father to his family.

The battle continued through the wealthy seed of Abraham and through the seed of a servant woman, Hagar.  The battle raged with Abraham and Sarah.  Not able to wait upon the promise, Abraham and Sarah turned to Hagar for what?  A child.  The battle between the child of promise and the child of the flesh still wages today and is played out so sadly in newspaper headlines.

How did God, in His infinite wisdom, choose to reconcile with fallen man?  Through the birth of a child.  “Unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given…”Isaiah 9.

But with the birth of our blessed Savior, came one of the most vicious attacks against children in recorded history.  It came against sweet innocents.

Matthew chapter 2 recounts the event in stark terms…Our enemy (through Herod) was so frightened of the newborn Christ child that each and EVERY male child in Bethlehem was put to death.  Each and every single male child two years old or younger… That grips my heart as I am the parent of a two year old myself.

I live in Cambodia where the enemy (through Pol Pot) stripped away the true meaning of family with the Khmer Rouge.  Families were torn asunder while 2 million lost their lives so quickly and somewhat quietly …the world didn’t and still doesn’t shrink back in horror at the atrocities.  When I share about our ministry and the country of Cambodia, time and time again folks will tell me that they have never heard of this…”when did this happen?”  Or worse yet, some will say “Oh, I’ve seen that movie, The Killing Fields.  That really happened?”
Yes, folks, that really happened.

At times, I will be to the point of pulling my hair out because it can be just so stinkin’ hard ministering/living in Cambodia.  Mark and I seem to often go from one situation to another…one fire put out to another…it is a constant battle.  Time and time again the thought has visited my mind…”Why is the battle so fierce over just 22 little children?  (Benz kids plus Bykota Kids) We aren’t that big.  We are just trying to love and care for 22. “  Why?  Because we are engaging the enemy over his favorite target and his biggest threat…children.

I have had many who question, some kindly–some not, our ministry.  “We like to support church planters” they say and for a while I thought that I understood.  But something has risen up inside me…I think it is a truer understanding of our calling and the HOPE that is ever present in our calling.

We ARE church planters!  What the enemy has taken and tried to destroy…God is rebuilding through the lives of the children of Bykota.  We aren’t building a church building and doing provincial outreaches or doing medical ministry…all those things are so needed by the people of Cambodia and we so desire to see them come.

What we are doing is trying to raise up 22 warriors.

Twenty two warriors that already have the enemy of God shaking in his boots.

Twenty two warriors that are being equipped to handle the Word of God and life’s affairs in an approved and unashamed manner.

Twenty two warriors who will walk out into the country of Cambodia and take it by the power of the Word of God and their testimony.

PURE AND UNDEFILED RELIGION IS THIS…TO CARE FOR ORPHANS AND WIDOWS IN THEIR TIME OF NEED!

Want to join us?

Breathing in, breathing out,

Rhonda